Questions & Clearing Limiting Beliefs

“A creative mind makes uncommon connections. So does a crazy mind. A creative mind makes uncommon insightful connections” ~ Messiah’s Handbook by Richard Bach

You may have to check out my first blog of the day at AHHHHHH to fully understand how relevant the above quote is, but I will try to connect the dots for you below.

While I was having trouble sleeping last night, I kept thinking about how I wanted to accomplish my goals, if for no other reason than to let my son know that it was possible for him to accomplish his. I would never want him to give up, that is one of the saddest things to me as I believe that we have our dreams and ambitions because they are akin to our calling. Yes, I believe that we all have a calling, whether that is as a chambermaid at a Motel 6, President of a country  or being the next Mother Teresa – we all have a unique calling.

I knew as I lie there, that I had some limiting beliefs that needed clearing. One thought that my Monkey Brain or the neurotic little voice in my head (see definition of monkey brain AKA Neurotic little voice here) keeps throwing at me is “If you haven’t achieved financial independence by 35 what makes you think you ever will.” I do know that this is my monkey brain and therefore merely a thought to laugh at, but it also points me to a place where I have some clearing that needs to happen.

Apparently, there is still a part of me that believes that I am not capable of doing that which I want to do. A part of me that feels incapable, that believes that it is all luck or timing or whatever. Apparently, part of me is still blocking the flow of abundance in my life.

The good news is – that I am realizing it! Now, how do I go about clearing it? There for a while one of my daily affirmations was “I am so proud of myself for believing in myself enough to let all of my dreams come true, or something better.” Adding this back in wouldn’t hurt – but I want to clear this limitation out for good. Another thing that pops into my mind is the revelation I had the last time I got stuck here which was If I could love myself & have as much faith in myself as I do my child that I could in fact accomplish anything.

For those of you who are parents already – have you ever tried and successfully loved yourself as much as you do your child? I’m still struggling with that. When I think about the fact that my parents loved me as much as I love my child I am overwhelmed.

I am almost afraid to love myself that much.

  • Q: Why am I afraid to love myself?
  • A: I don’t want to have that big of an ego.
  • Q: Really? I am afraid of having an ego?
  • A: Partly, I don’t want to be knocked down by karma for being too full of myself
  • Q: But that isn’t real self-love – that is over inflated fake ego typically stemming from a lack of self-confidence and love – real self love comes with a deep appreciation for others and the ability to grow and change. So what is really keeping me from loving myself?
  • A: I don’t want to work that hard. If I chose to really love myself, I have to live differently. I will need to push myself more, in the gym, at home, in all my relationships. It just seems daunting and exhausting. 
  • Q: Is that really what self love is all about? Pushing yourself, never accepting yourself as you are? That doesn’t seem correct, does it?
  • A: well, no
  • Q: So – why do you think that truly loving yourself is a daunting endeavor?
  • A: When I think of how much my parents love me – of how much they want for me – it feels like a huge burden – an enormous amount of responsibility. How can I ever live up to being deserving of that much love.
  • Q: Whoa . . . . there’s a lot to address in that answer. First – take a breath. Now tell me, when you think of your son and how much you want for him – is there anything he has to do in order for you to continuing loving him? Is there even anything that he could do that would lessen your love for him?
  • A: No – he doesn’t have to do anything, I love him as unconditionally as any human is capable of loving another human.
  • Q: Wouldn’t your parents love for you be just as unconditional?
  • A: Yes, but how do I live up to what they want for me?
  • Q: You don’t have to live up to anything for them to love you, but let’s go with this here – What do they want for you?
  • A: For me to be happy and to accomplish my dreams.
  • Q: Isn’t that also what you want for yourself?
  • A: Yes
  • Q: Then where is the problem?
  • A: I’m confused.
  • Q: 🙂 Let’s slow down. Take another deep breath. You say that having people who love you unconditionally causes you a burden – a burden of needing to live up to what they want for you – but what they want for you is the same as what you want for yourself.
  • A: Yes, I’m with you so far
  • Q: So if you and your parents want the same thing for you, then why do you feel a burden?
  • A: Because I love them and I don’t want to let them down. . . .
  • Q: If you never accomplish your highest goal and choose not to be happy – will they love you any less?
  • A: No – of course not, although they may not be happy with my choices
  • Q: Understandable, but they will still love you
  • A: Yes
  • Q: So where is the pressure? What burden, what pressure are you feeling? Here – let us re-frame this. If both you and your parents who love you unconditionally want the same things for you, to be happy and to accomplish your dreams – then it seems like you have a couple of solid allies in your corner. Isn’t that true?
  • A: I guess so, heck, my whole family, siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews, husband and child – they all want those things for me too. So I guess I really have a lot of people who love me and are wanting me to succeed. This makes me want to cry.
  • Q: What about it makes you want to cry?
  • A: How do I deserve this?
  • Q: What makes you think you don’t?
  • A: Because I haven’t made good on my goals yet
  • Q: So what? Have you been mostly happy?
  • A: Yes.
  • Q: Even if you had not been mostly happy – you would still be deserving of having your friends and family in your corner wishing you all the success in the world. But since your answer is yes – then you are already half way there.
  • A: I guess that if I want to – I can even channel this energy, all of the energy from all the people who love me – channel it into my focus for my goals? Use that to help me achieve success.
  • Q: Of course you can. 🙂 Is there anything else that makes you feel, think or believe that you are not worthy of unconditional love?
  • A: I’m not sure.
  • Q: Well, what comes up? I choose to know, is there anything else that makes me feel unworthy of love or my greatest dreams?
  • A: Not capable
  • Q: Why do you feel you’re not capable – and not capable of what?
  • A: I feel like I am not capable of achieving my greatest dreams.
  • Q: Okay, why?
  • A: I choose to know why I don’t feel capable of achieving my greatest dreams, because that isn’t why I chose to come into this life.
  • Q: Whoa? Wait – What? Are you supposed to be some sort of martyr or something?
  • A: Yes
  • Q: Huh? Where did this come from?
  • A: I don’t know.
  • Q: Is this part of a victim mentality?
  • A: Yes, but there are a lot of causes worth fighting for
  • Q: Okay- it sounds like what we really have here is another spin on the whole “I shouldn’t be happy because the world isn’t perfect” excuse. Am I correct?
  • A: Maybe, I’m not sure
  • Q: Let me clarify – I feel as though I am not capable of accomplishing my greatest dreams because there are causes to fight for that are more important than my dreams – is this correct?
  • A: That is what I was saying yes.
  • Q: Okay – so you don’t feel this way now?
  • A; I feel like I should accomplish my greatest financial dreams in order to have a greater positive affect in the changes that I wish to see in the world.
  • Q: Now, I’m confused. 🙂 So – when it comes to your greatest dreams – there is the financial side and the positive impact on the world side. So what I was initially saying was that I thought the change the world side should come before the financial side – but now I realize that should the financial side come first it may aid the change the world side.
  • A: Correct and I can even work on both concurrently.
  • Q: Okay – so I choose to know is there anything else inhibiting me from believing in my ability to achieve my greatest dreams?
  • A: I am not patient. This causes me problems, in the past I’ve often given up on something or not stayed the course because of a lack of patience.
  • Q: Would merely reminding myself how much I am loved, how many people are cheering me on and how much I deserve to love myself help me to persevere?
  • A: Why yes, yes I think it would.
  • Q: Okay – write down a new affirmation – I am so lucky to have so many amazing people loving me and rooting for me to accomplish my goals, or something even better. Add this – along with the others to your daily list to review.
  • A: Okay. I just had another twinge of negativity pop up from the monkey brain. .
  • Q: What about? What sparked it?
  • A: When I mentioned my daily list to review – I have yet to be successful keeping up with my ‘daily tasks’ as yet.
  • Q: So what keeps you from keeping up with daily tasks?
  • A: Back to the whole loving myself enough again, so I guess this clearing session is really helping with that. It was merely a twinge until I drew attention to it.
  • Q:  That is okay. The fact that there was a twinge and that I was able to define it, in and of itself is a good sign. I AM MAKING PROGRESS!! Do I need to clear some more?
  • A: I guess it would not hurt. I AM MAKING PROGRESS. I am allowed to love myself as much as I love my son. I am capable of being happy and accomplishing my dreams.
  • Q: Did that feel good?
  • A: Haha yes, I guess it did. Now I have new affirmation cards to make.

 

 


  • Q: Yes, yes I do – is there anything else I need to clear on before I get to that task?
  • A: Yes, I am a little concerned about motivation for the task of making phone calls to drum up some business tomorrow.
  • Q: Do I offer fantastic services?
  • A: Yes
  • Q: Do I go above and beyond for my clients?
  • A: I choose to now go above and beyond  – yes.
  • Q: Am I doing them a favor by offering them other products and services?
  • A: Yes
  • Q: Then why am I apprehensive about making calls?
  • A: I don’t want to bother people
  • Q: I just said that I am offering a great service, that I go above and beyond for my customers and that I am doing them a favor letting them know what else I offer. So why are you worried about bothering them?
  • A: They may not be thinking about what I am calling about when I call.
  • Q: So can you clear that up with a simple – ‘Have I caught you at a good time?’
  • A: I guess
  • Q: Care to elaborate?
  • A: I guess I just want to do what Deborah is trying to teach me to do – I want to be able to connect with these people, to become someone that they want to work with.
  • Q: What is stopping me from doing that?
  • A: I really loathe being on the phone and have a difficult time connecting with people over the phone.
  • Q: This is a whole other animal. Why do you loathe being on the phone?
  • A: Hard to connect – read people on the phone
  • Q: Is this something that you can overcome
  • A: It is something that I need to overcome
  • Q: How can I overcome my difficulty connecting with people over the phone.
  • A: Say a prayer before each call that I can be of service to the people that I am trying to reach and do business with
  • Q: Interesting idea, so this will help me connect and build positive relationships with clients?
  • A: Yes it will.
  • Q: Okay – how does this prayer go?
  • A: Dear lord, please help me to be of service to ______. Please allow me to connect to them at a time of receptivity and convenience. Please help me to not only provide great service but to also make a more human connection in an otherwise business day. What do I think?
  • Q: I think it may need a little tweaking but that it will work for a start. Do you feel better about the work at hand for tomorrow?
  • A: I do, I want to remember to record my calls though.
  • Q: Put up a note!

 

 

 

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mystickat35

Hello, my name is Kathryn. I am 35 years old and an entrepreneur of 15 years. I've always had the dream of financial independence and fulfilling my life's purpose (and yes, I'm one of those who believes we ALL have a life's purpose.) In the last 15 years, I've managed to live a pretty fun and flexible lifestyle although I have yet to have gained any real financial stability or even substantial retirement savings. A few years ago, I met and fell in love with an amazing man who is now my husband. We had our first child last year and now - the stakes are higher! This blog is my personal journey from running a truly small albeit profitable business to hopefully reaching that millionaire mark. My goal is to live a life free from financial strife, not a life consumed by work and material possessions. My husband and I are pretty well minimalists and would rather spend $10k on a vacation than $500 on a new suit. I hope to accomplish 3 things by sharing my journey. 1. To have accountability, so that I can't give up 2. Maybe help someone else along the way 3. Eventually turn this blog into a book, that may help even more people strive for and accomplish their dreams Whether you tune in for the long haul or only for a glimpse, thank you! I hope that you too have a blessed journey filled with inspired action and rewarding challenges. Namaste, Kathryn